Life in Provincetown » Blog Archive » Ellie’s Liberator issue 2 Part 1

Ellie’s PROVINCETOWN LIBERATOR

a newspaper for the World’s

ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY

P.O. Box 1881, Provincetown, MA 02657 (508) 487 4150

email: ellie39@verizon.net

blog addresses:

http://www.liptv.us/blogs/index.php/author/elliesprovincetownliberator/

myspace.com/ellie_provincetown

very first issue

You’re holding in your hands the very first edition of ELLIE’S PROVINCETOWN LIBERATORPROVINCETOWN LIBERATOR ! Its creator/editor-in-chief is Ellie, a resident of P’Town, and one of its street-performers. Since coming to Provincetown she has done a considerable amount of writing also.

Most of her writing has a high percentage of autobiographical material mixed in with aspects of truth she has “caught” over the past 75 years. These truths have made a dramatic difference in her quality of life.

FUTURE LEAD STORY

ELLIE – PLANET’S FIRST MULTI-TRILLIONAIRE –

SOLVES P’TOWN’S AFFORDABLE HOUSING CRISIS

Ellie, P’Town street-performer, and founder/editor-in-chief of the brand new newspaper called ELLIE’S PROVINCETOWN LIBERATOR,PROVINCETOWN LIBERATOR, announces her plan to develop a gigantic, extravagantly beautiful town off-shore in international waters. Among a thousand amenities, it will contain one thousand free-standing units of 2000 square feet, each with a price tag of only $50,000. For now she calls it simply “P’Town Too.”

Being in international waters, it will be a completely sovereign state. Its citizens will govern themselves. The town will be tax-free, and worry-free. Having no crime, it will have no police force.

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Having completely safe buildings, it will have no fire department.

Town meetings will be held strictly for lively, friendly get-togethers, not for the passage of articles with rules and regulations. Citizens are free to do as they please on P’Town Too.

Free transportation to the mainland will be available 24/7. Free transportation from the mainland to “Too” will also be available 24/7. Once there, free transportation will be available 24/7 so visitors can easily travel to all sections of the island-complex.

Amenities include a free educational system that specializes in teaching all students how to use their common sense. Also there are hotels, B&B’s, clubs, restaurants, quick-bite-to-eat outlets, markets, convenience stores, spas, shops, galleries, theaters, a playhouse, churches, parks, an athletic field, etc. galore.

Rising 1000’ above sea-level is a tower, set in bedrock 200’ beneath the ocean’s surface. From it you can see Mount Washington on a clear day. It is called “World Love & Peace Monument.” Admission is free. The observation deck is reached by stairway or elevator.

By the time Too is ready, no later than 2010, all diseases will have been cured. On Too there will be no need for a hospital, clinic, nursing home, home for the aged, funeral home, or cemetery.

Amazingly, Ellie will surround the magical island with sandy beaches (nude bathing allowed on all of them) and floating piers. There will be no mooring or docking fees. Several marinas are planned; also an airport – with no landing fee.

It will always be high tide. Those who love to clam may of course go back to the flats on the mainland easily, at no expense.

All residents will be in process of becoming sexy, fabulous-looking, and 25 – like Ellie. A good time will be had by all. In fact,

a good time is available 24/7 too on Too (or, one on one – whatever floats your boat).

Eye-catching posters of Ellie sunning herself in the nude on one of Too’s beaches are posted conspicuously throughout the island. It carries a customary caption: “For a good time – call 508-487-4150.” That’s Ellie’s number.

Ellie expects both One and Too to thrive as never before. Call her too to apply for citizenship on this new Shangri La.

FUTURE SECOND LEAD STORY

ELLIE ASKS: “WHICH IS MORE FUN FOR YOU: PLANNING TO DIE, OR PLANNING TO LIVE?”

Just what are you planning: living or dying? You can’t do both at the same time. You’ve got to make up your mind which it is you’d rather do.

You might feel like shit right now: broken down, falling apart with old age and sickness. You may very well have one foot in the grave, and the other one in mid-air!

Even in that precarious position, you can start planning to live! Easy as pie! Begin by saying: “I want to live!” That’s all!

That’s the first step – and you’ve just taken it. Now relax.

“Relax? How can I relax? There has to be more steps to take! What are they? I surely don’t have a clue!”

Well neither do I. But the Universe knows – and it will tell you the next step on time – and in time.

How do I know? I just know! When ya know – ya know!

improving your quality of life

Ellie feels that the truths that have improved her quality of life can be adapted by individuals as well as groups – even nations – to accomplish the same thing: an improvement in the quality of life.

Insights and revelations

When ideas suddenly come to her – flashes of insight – revelations – she has found it important not to discard them just because they were out of the ordinary. In the past five years particularly, she has embraced several extraordinary ideas. She views them as facets of dreams held since she first became aware of her personhood in childhood days.

They are the magical stuff that dreams are made of, and magically, one by one, she has been living these dreams. Having one’s own personal newspaper in which to publish one’s ideas as they relate to local and world events is definitely one of those ideas – the kind that excite Ellie because she feels they are tailor-made for her.

Welcome to my newspaper. I believe you will find it helpful in enhancing your quality of life!

Ellie – in her bath (not private)

adjoining her newspaper office

She frequently holds press conferences while bathing!

PHOTO BY VAVA

Title of pic:

“Ellie – enjoying life as the planet’s

first multi-trillionaire”

Photo labeled

Ellie Tub4

goes here.

Photo labeled

Ellie_boat_close

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Photo labeled

Ellie_boat_close

goes on preceding page

On preceding page

PHOTO BY PRU SOWERS of THE BANNER

(in front of the Dorothea Rose, Provincetown Public Library)

Rudely asked: “Are those her NIPPLES I’m seeing?”

Crudely answered: “Honey, it ain’t the ship’s friggin’ riggin’ !”

Ellie

AMERICA’ S SHY, DEMURE LEADER

PATS FAN

Ellie revealed to the media, while bathing, she plans to participate in the next Patriots Try-Out Session for Walk-on’s. Her goal is to convince Coach Belichick that she can be useful as a specialist on crucial downs when the Pats have the ball.

Her specialty? Drawing defensive linemen off-side, causing corner-backs and safeties to forget their assignments, and being an overall pain-in-the-crotch to the entire defense.

Belichick is sure to be interested in the amazing things that can happen if she should develop an itchy nipple just before the ball is snapped.

She will wear a custom-made uniform: a sleeveless, see-through top with spaghetti straps, and shortened pants that come to six-inches above the knee.

PHOTO BY VAVA

Picture labeled

EllieSports1

goes here.

liberating the captives

Every human has dreams but you rarely hear anyone shouting gleefully, “I’ve just realized another one of my dreams!” Of course you rarely hear someone moaning the opposite, “I’m trapped in a lousy life of unfulfilled dreams.” But if someone looks like a sad-sack, and looks that way most of the time – that’s tantamount to her/his saying “My dreams are going up in smoke!”

Ellie and Ellie’s PROVINCETOWN LIBERATORPROVINCETOWN LIBERATOR are dedicated to the happy hobby of setting captives free. The thought of being trapped in something produces a feeling of an ever-expanding unhappiness. Ellie knows the feeling: it’s awful. She felt that way for about seventy years. But she also knows the exhilarating feeling of being set loose of all traps. She lives in the exhilaration of happiness.

the reason for my writing

The reason for my writing is simple: the truths in my heart I just don’t see anywhere in the marketplace. I don’t hear anyone talking about them. I haven’t run across any publications that mention them. Naturally I could have missed instances.

These truths are of such importance, that if a million people were handling them, there would always be a need for more handlers. So I am assuming there is a need for my writing: I’m convinced it’s not an empty assumption.

a love letter extraordinaire

This newspaper is more than a newspaper – it’s an extraordinary love letter. Love letters – like love – like great family reunions – are something else again! Even the scribbles of those experiencing puppy-love are quite special.

Most of us have had the experience of waiting for the postman to bring a love letter to us. The wait seems endless. When it finally arrives we rush to find a quiet spot where we can digest every last morsel of it.

We don’t read a love letter anywhere near like we read an ordinary letter. Often, we’ll start at the end! We want to know how our lover signed it!

The first letter I received that had an imprint of lips dressed in lipstick blew me away. I could hardly tear my eyes away from that lovely seal. Of course I had to press it to my lips for long moments.

I practically read the letter back to front. I lingered along the way. I diddled like Eliot did when he was let out of prison on school days. When you’re finally free, you want to see all there is to see – drink it all in. Every object fascinates: a rock, a bottle cap, a bug.

I tarried by every word – even the spaces between the words and lines. I wanted to read what was between the lines and in the spaces.

answering a love letter

Answering love letters is different – much different – from answering ordinary letters. All the feelings that are present when you read a love letter are present when you answer one. It’s joy, fun, happiness renewed.

a love letter in your hand

The newspaper you’re holding is really a love letter. If you wonder why, inexplicably, you’re feeling good as you read it, now you know why!

Like I used to read love letters sent to me, you can read my love letter to you any way you like: start at the end, start in the middle, begin at the beginning. Begin the beguine – anywhere!

It’s important for you to know something about my love letters: being laced with love, they are more contagious than a letter laced with anthrax!

Already you’ve caught my love; already you’ve caught whatever truth is in me. Truth and love are one and the same. Truth is Love; Love is Truth.

God is Love; Love is God. God is Truth; Truth is God.

the hard work of trying to live well and be happy

It seems that most people make hard work of living and being happy. One day a lovely artist visited me in my P’Town White House. She presented me with an original creation of hers: a saying upon a striking background of vivid but subdued washes of color, as in a sunset.

In bold yet aesthetic letters, it reads:

“JUST MAYBE LOVE SHOULDN’T BE SUCH HARD WORK.”

the enabler

What is it that enables people to live well and be happy? It’s knowing the truth! When truth seeps into our hearts, ignorance slips out of our heads.

It’s ignorance – not knowing truth – that screws us all up and keeps our world and the entire universe in an uproar. Therefore it’s so important for us to come in contact with the truth!

letting truth do the work

The way our Creator has set things up, it’s truth that works, not us. It’s just for us to know the truth, and have fun knowing it!

Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free!” It’s all so simple!

Well, how do you know the truth? You know it by being exposed to it! That’s all! Truth is caught, not taught! Truth is a beautiful contagion. It’s the most contagious thing in the whole universe. Get anywhere near it, and you’ve caught it! You didn’t work for it. You may have worked hard not to get it.

It seems some people work hard not to catch it from me. They run from me fast. But they’re goners: they’ve already caught the truth from me! It only takes a smidge of truth to get a full-blown case of truth going! Some people don’t even realize they’ve been infected. Someday they’ll be happy to discover they’ve come down with the truth!

the high contagion of truth

It’s like this newspaper has been laced with anthrax. You’ve already caught the contagion! Only this is a happy contagion!

If you should feel like throwing this immediately into an incinerator, resist the temptation. Some day, probably sooner than later, you’re going to wish you had it back. Of course, to get it back I’d be hoping for another $25. I’m just trying to save you money!

so then……

So then, let’s assume the worst: you’re pissed, or suddenly you find yourself in a bad mood. In either case it wouldn’t be good for you to continue

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reading. You’d just get more pissed, or get in a worse mood.

Here’s my suggestion: to get yourself unpissed, or in a better mood, relax and imagine yourself doing the thing you like to do best, Could be anything: we all have our favorite past-times.

Mine is getting laid. Yours might be knitting, reading a romantic novel, watching a ball game on TV, etc. Whatever floats your boat!

You might scream loudly, “It’s NOT getting laid, you pervert!” Oh? You mean you never dreamed of meeting a handsome prince or a beautiful princess, falling in love, and enjoying heavenly sex with him/her forever?

Rather, you said to your parents, “When I grow up I want to be ugly as sin so no one will come near me. In my solitude I want to devote myself to some noble cause without being distracted by anything so trivial as sex!”

no arguing

But let’s not argue: it never does anyone any good at all. You do your thing; I’ll do mine. I’ll call Eliot over. One look at me, and he’ll know what’s on my mind – cuz it’s never off my mind!

So while you knit, I’ll get laid … and we’ll both be happier for the diversion. When you’re finished being diverted, and you’re in a better mood, continue

reading my love letter to you.

a whole lot to consider

Admittedly, I’m throwing a lot at you at once. Probably much of it you’ll think is just plain nuts. Never in a million years could Ellie be right. She’d better stick to singing! A few would even turn thumbs down at that. Like the guy who rode by me on a bike and yelled, “Don’t quit your day job!”

Just do the best you can to get through the entire piece – no matter how long it takes. When you come to something you think is absurd, don’t try to think up answers to refute my position. Just keep reading.

If you should happen to think I’m right now and then, don’t pay any more attention to what seems right than what seems wrong. Don’t try to remember those points. If you get through the whole thing and you don’t remember a thing, let alone understand it, don’t worry – everything isIf you should happen to think I’m right now and then, don’t pay any more attention to what seems right than what seems wrong. Don’t try to remember those points. If you get through the whole thing and you don’t remember a thing, let alone understand it, don’t worry – everything is alright.

If you should happen to think I’m right now and then, don’t pay any more attention to what seems right than what seems wrong. Don’t try to remember those points. If you get through the whole thing and you don’t remember a thing, let alone understand it, don’t worry – everything isalright.

not having to work at it

We have the asinine tendency to make everything hard work, even when we’re making love! We’ve been brainwashed into thinking that only hard workers get ahead. But really, what they end up getting is just more hard work.

I’ve learned that if something isn’t fun, drop it like a hot potato. Go on to something that is fun!

So just keep reading. And even if you’re not pissed off at me, or in a bad mood, it still would be good to take a break every so often to do something you really enjoy – even if it’s just to sit quietly, with eyes closed, and imagine yourself doing it. You probably can guess what I’m imaging right now.

Truthfully, I’ve been imagining myself as a high-priced hooker – I mean really high-priced! That way I’d get my dream house in P’Town fast. I just heard theTruthfully, I’ve been imagining myself as a high-priced hooker – I mean really high-priced! That way I’d get my dream house in P’Town fast. I just heard the price of it has dropped from $4,999,999 to only $3,999,999 !

Truthfully, I’ve been imagining myself as a high-priced hooker – I mean really high-priced! That way I’d get my dream house in P’Town fast. I just heard theprice of it has dropped from $4,999,999 to only $3,999,999 !

Eliot would pimp. He’d do a good selling job. He’s pretty happy with me.

a lot to offer

I feel I have a lot to offer the American people. It would not disturb me in the least if I ran across others offering the same things. The more the merrier!

Of course, a lunatic can offer the moon, but can s/he deliver it? The things Ellie offers are verifiable to the readers. They’ll be able to see they’re not wasting their time reading what Ellie writes.

Ellie a leader with a heart for people

Ellie has a heart for people. She will spend the bulk of her time being with people in all 50 states. She won’t fly in and quickly fly out of places. She won’t spend time holed up in Washington anyway. Her White House is wherever she is living at the time in P’Town!

no more closed-doors meetings

We all know most presidents spend much of their time behind closed doors. Their sessions with the Cabinet and trusted advisors generally are not open

to the public. Why not? Could it be that monkey business is going on – often “damage control” strategy sessions to lessen the fallout of questionable policies and practices?

If things can’t be discussed in the open, it’s a good tip-off there’s something rotten in the state of Denmark. Ellie has already spoken to this in a piece entitled, “Evil that Lurks Behind Closed Doors.” It’s in her blog site for your perusal, as are many other thought-provoking essays – like one entitled “Americans Are Born into Slavery.”

A government that has a lot of secrets likely is one that is in the process of becoming a police state. America is the Land of the Free in name only. Give that statement a little consideration. Your common sense will tell you it’s not far off the mark.

Ellie not traveling about trying to sell her program to the public

Ellie will not be circulating among the public in order to sell her program. If you have to resort to salesmanship, obviously the program is flawed and should be junked.

I don’t argue or debate my case; I simply get it out to the public. Like I do in my gigs in P’Town, I sing, toss out a nugget of truth now and then as I feel like it – without getting into arguments. Naturally, I flaunt my nipples and legs. I keep things light and fun.

visits to military hospitals

Most of her time will be spent entertaining the troops who fill our military hospitals because they have suffered terrible wounds in combat. The lives of many of them are hanging by a thread. It would appear that many others will never know normal living again. Bodies and minds are broken to a pitiful degree.

Not one of these soldiers should ever have been put in the precarious position they were put in. Gallantly they volunteered to fight for America and all of us – and they paid dearly in doing it.

All war is madness. No war is justifiable and necessary. Every American must take responsibility for this madness. We’ve all had a hand in it whether

we voted for the present administration or not.

Ellie will spend hour after hour in the wards talking with soldiers, singing to

them, laughing with them, crying with them, hugging them, kissing them.

She will not leave until she can see by their eyes (if they have them) or by simple vibes, that she has succeeded in giving them hope that not merely better days are ahead – but that their best days are even now on the way!

encouraging all entertainers to do the same

As so many entertainers have done in all wars, – when they visited troops on the battlefield as members of a USO troupe – something like this needs to be continued on a regular basis. Our troops must never be forgotten. Military hospitals are grim battlefields where soldiers fight for their lives!

another Renaissance

Ellie envisions the world moving into an exciting new Renaissance in which the arts will flourish as never before. The entire world will have the time and money to produce great works of art and to enjoy great works of art.

Countries will not compete to determine the best artists, the best teams, and the best athletes. It’s a GREAT FAMILY AFFAIR and we’ll learn the fun of enjoying and appreciating every production, and every producer.

much time spent with a second group

Another group of people Ellie will spend hour after hour with are the loved ones of those who were killed in the insane war. Ellie can hardly wait to get on the road to visit them in their homes. At this writing the number of those killed is approaching 3000.

In addition to visiting in homes, she will appeal to all Americans, including all businesses and corporations, to make generous donations to fund the periodic getting together of these loved ones in regional gatherings where they can support one another. The donations will cover all their expenses. The gatherings hopefully will be semi-annual – and first-class all the way.

Ellie’s meetings with loved ones will be leisurely, like those with the wounded soldiers. She will not go until she sees hope in their eyes.

even bringing back departed loved ones

Do many leaders know a way of bringing the dead back to life – so that things are even better than when the deceased were still alive at home? Ellie knows a way. She has already written about this (see her blog-site).

troops home for good

What does Ellie mean when she speaks of bringing the troops “home for good?” She means not for a 30-day leave, but for an honorable discharge – one of the last acts in the disbanding of our armed forces and the dismantling of our military. For good! Both in purpose, and length of time.

too much for one girl?

All this would be absolutely too much for a 75 year-old grandmother/father, but for Ellie – sexy, gorgeous, and 25 – it’s a piece of cake! She’s rarin’ to go!

One might think that all this being with wounded and being with the grief-stricken would take such a toll on Ellie that before long she’d be a basket case. No way! Ellie will never be one. If she doesn’t believe in death, she certainly doesn’t believe in basket cases!

She accepts only good things – fun things – things that make her dance and sing. You could say she’s a new kind of girl!

a new kind of newness

Like P’Town is becoming a new kind of town. America – a new kind of country. The world – a new kind of world. We’re all going to love this new kind of newness!

Presently we speak of mixing business with pleasure. Ellie doesn’t do this. Nothing is business to her – it’s all pleasure. Even visiting with those with bodies and minds more half than whole – and loved ones steeped in sadness more than gladness!

How can this be? Because Ellie knows she will not leave these people as she’s found them. Like her, they will be new and different.

Besides, in all of her travels, Eliot will be along – at no extra charge to taxpayers! Eliot and Ellie always have one fucking good time together. That in itself is what makes Ellie so different from the usual grim-faced, stressed-out-looking leaders. It’s easy to tell most of them haven’t had a good piece of ass in ages – if ever! But Ellie will change all that dreariness for them!

a feeling of love for all people

You see, Ellie has deep feelings for all people. She considers no one – of no value, let alone an enemy. She’s not a tyrant, who after ascending to the

top, turns around and conducts a purge, eliminating all who opposed her on the way up. To Ellie, everyone is a beloved member of the family.

prison visits

As she travels the country, she will drop by prisons and visit those behind bars. She’ll start off visiting those on death row – ones who are usually called the scumbags of society. Death row is just one more ghastly evidence of America’s violent mentality. We repay violence with violence – all across the board.

Every prison is an anachronism – a leftover of ignorant barbarism. There are no bad people in prison. Every one on the inside is good like those on the outside.

a universal hobby: the pot calling the kettle black

If things were as we make them out to be, we should all be in jail – including all of our judges. We’re so quick to judge people. We fire a laundry list of charges against them. We call them every name in the book. In every instance, it’s the pot calling the kettle black.

In our ignorance – without the benefit of knowing the truth – we’re all serial killers, perpetrators of genocide, rapists, child abusers, thieves, extortionists, liars, and cheats.

no moral absolutes

But that’s only because we make things out wrongly. Our founding fathers thought God created moral absolutes. They thought God holds us accountable to them. They thought God punishes sinners who break His laws. They thought He’s created a ghastly prison where unrepentant sinners will be tormented forever (hell).

We must follow His lead. We must create laws, a judicial system to determine law-breakers, and a penal system to punish them.

surprise, surprise – loved even in our madness

What violence we do to a loving God out of our being trapped in ignorance! Amazingly, all this madness has not pissed off God one bit. S/He loves us in our madness. We are trapped in Her/His love! Ellie is on a kick to free all prisoners: those literally behind obsolete bars, as well as the rest of us who are in prisons of our own making.

simultaneous fund-raisings

While America is reaching deep into her pocket to fund all of Ellie’s visits to the downtrodden, the nation is reaching deeper still to come up with a gigantic love gift for the people of Iraq. This gift, maybe of trillions, will enable the Iraqis to rebuild all that we have destroyed in our violent insanity – especially minds and bodies.

Iraq is on Ellie’s itinerary. She shelled out a lot of money to get her visa, thinking she’d be in Baghdad this New Year’s Eve 2006 to celebrate with the Iraqis the end of the fiasco.

Ellie miscalculated on this, but that’s OK. No harm has been done. She’s at least got the ball rolling.

Ellie – America’s Leader now

Ellie won’t start doing the things of leadership in some future day – the day when she is elected leader by popular vote – if she were doing things the ordinary way. But Ellie never does things the ordinary way – only “My Way” she sings! Ellie is winning hearts, not votes. Winning hearts by being a leader, not merely talking about becoming one.

Exactly how long it will take before America opens her heart to her new leader is hard to predict with preciseness. Ellie could care less about making a prediction – other than – “sooner than most people would ever imagine!”

a lesson learned from a smart little boy

There once was a little boy who cunningly persuaded a man to put him to work. He’d work the first day for one penny; the second day for two pennies, the third day for four pennies, and so on.

To make the deal even more attractive, he was willing to wait until the end of the month to be paid, so as not to bother the boss daily with such an incidental thing as figuring out how much he owed his little helper. “Such a deal!” the shop-keeper said to himself.

the big pay-off

Do you know what the cute little kid earned the first month? I once saw the answer, but I didn’t write it down. So for this article, I re-figured the answer. My little calculator only allows 8 digits across – so on the

27^{th day I had to resort to my math on pencil and paper. As best as I can determine, on the 30th day the little boy handed his boss a bill for $5,368,708.92. The kid said, “Forget the change!”}

lighthouses in P’Town

Ellie’s likes to think of herself as a light house. Reproducing herself, now you have two lighthouses shining on the second day, and so on. P’Town has only three lighthouses along its shores, so if all the lights in town were extinguished except for those 3 lights, P’Town would be shrouded in darkness for all intents and purposes.

But if those three lighthouses began a geometric progression, before long P’Town would make Vegas look like a flickering candle. We’d be the brightest spot on earth!

a sure-fire plan

Ellie’s plan will work for one very important reason. The people who become Lighthouses of Happiness – each one of them will make a huge impact, whether they’re townies, or tourists who will go back to distant places. Why? Because the people who know them well can’t help but see a remarkable difference in them. They’ve seen these lighthouses when they were anything but sources of light. Mostly they were beacons of gloom.

executing the plan to win hearts

Ellie’s plan to win the heart of America begins in this Holiday Season of 2006. It’s Advent. We commemorate the birth of Jesus at this time of year. Who ever would have thought anything world-shaking would ever have started in a lowly manger in a tiny insignificant town like Bethlehem?

Likewise, how many of the world’s billions would expect anything shaking the world to its very foundations would come out of Provincetown?

Especially through the advent of a funny-looking newspaper produced by a girl who is bent on having fun!

Ellie is asking each one who receives a copy in hand to do two things: first, send a donation of $25 to her by return mail; second, tell 10 friends to go to Ellie’s blog site where they can read the paper for themselves; not only that, but also send their donation of $25 to Ellie; and then each one of them to tell 10 friends. And on and on. That’s why Ellie says: “sooner than most people would ever imagine.”

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making Ellie rich

If you think this is a scheme to make Ellie rich – you’re EXACTLY RIGHT. Ellie has had it with poverty. She’s found a better life.

But don’t get bent all out of shape by her coming into big bucks: she will help every soul on earth to come into big bucks! Believe her: God’s intention for all of Her/His kids is that they go “first class” – all the time, every time, forever!

a disclaimer

I want to say a special word before I go on to tell you the chief reason for my happiness. I’m going to bring Jesus of Nazareth into the picture and I don’t want the mere mention of His name to discourage some of you from reading on. That would be so sad.

It’s a crying shame that the very mention of Jesus can turn people off. The fact of the matter is: He’s gotten rotten press over the centuries – mostly due to Christians who believe that whoever is not converted to Jesus Christ is lost and will be condemned to spend eternity in hell.

Well, you can relax. I don’t believe that, and I’m not trying to convert anyone into anything. You are already where you belong – in God’s ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY !

the reason for my happiness

The chief reason for my happiness was an unexpected visit from Jesus in which He told me that I was trapped in nothing but the love of God. Up to that point I felt I was trapped in a multitude of traps: old age, sickness, inevitable death not far off, religious commandments, rules and regulations of the church, civil rules, rules of society, and a world gone mad with hate, violence, and war.

Added to that was unfulfilling employment, depression, loneliness, a failure complex, a rotten self-image, dashed hopes and dreams, sexual frustration, sexual hang-ups, guilt, anxiety, worry, poverty, not being in control of my life, inability to be my own person.

the worst trap for Ellie

The worst trap of all though was my gender. I was born a male, but early on, the stirrings of wanting to be a female set in. By “early on” I mean when I

was 5 years old! I suffered in silence over that issue for six decades.

It tore me apart with guilt, confusion, and frustration. I found a bit of solace by retreating into a life of fantasy, or occasionally dressing in drag and venturing forth under the cover of darkness – but constantly haunted by the fear of being discovered and ridiculed.

as my courage grew

As my courage grew, I left the darkness behind and went out in daytime hours: first, in the wee hours of the morning when about the only ones up were carriers throwing newspapers on front doorsteps.

One morning I was sauntering along Newbury Street in Boston, stopping to admire beautiful things – especially girlie ones – in the artistically arranged windows. Suddenly I realized I was being followed. Oh God, I was being stalked by a pervert – likely a serial killer whose specialty was dismembering cross-dressers!

I always was turned on by the sound of high heels. It always alerted me to the fact that more than likely, a hot chick would soon come into view. You should have heard the click of my heels that morning – like a machine gun!

Every ounce of athleticism I owned was engaged. Immediately I was in warp speed and left the stalker in the dust.

graduating into mid-day – a lovely field all to myself

There came the day when I was bold as a lioness – almost. Even at mid-day I was going out, but usually far away where there was solitude and not much chance of being recognized. One sunny afternoon I slipped into a scanty white bikini swim suit and found a neat little beach on a lake.

The town beach was on the opposite end – a full mile away. On my end was the home office of a large insurance company next to a huge lawn which was part of its grounds. My secret little beach bordered that. I had the beach and the entire lawn to myself. The company employed hundreds but they were all busy inside.

After a swim, I walked to the middle of the grassy expanse, spread out a towel, and laid down to get some rays. A white bikini on a sun-tanned body is always an awesome sight!

Before long, however, my reverie was shattered by the sound of boys in the

22

distance! They were doing their usual thing of yelling and horsing around – especially enjoying the fact that they were out of prison for the day. I didn’t have to look at my watch to know they were coming home from school. Disturbingly, their noise got louder by the second! “Oh no!,” I gasped.

why oh why?

Now the area where I was sunning myself was large enough to accomodate the entire 1st Army. There was absolutely no reason why three boys had to come anywhere near me. But we all know boys routinely do unreasonable things. I had been one of them and I know well the devious workings of a boy’s mind.

It was as if I were a giant magnet pulling them right to me. Or a fisherman reeling in a catch.

I knew it would make matters only worse if suddenly I jumped up and took off. I’d look like a damn fool. Besides I knew they’d be hot on my heels.

bracing for the encounter

There was nothing I could do except brace myself for the encounter. In those days I was very mindful of my manly parts and the fact that they were quite noticeable unless extreme measure were taken to hide them – like duct-taping them tightly against my crotch.

The first time I did that – I was a genius when it came to fixing things with duct-tape – I was all set to go out, but naturally, I had to pee. Two hours of work down the hopper!

a lot different nowadays

Nowadays I could care less that I don’t look quirt like Petra Nemcova (a heroine of mine) down there. I march in our P”Town parades in skimpy bikinis. Nobody seems to mind – well, almost nobody. I have even sung in front of the town hall on hot summer days clad only in a bikini swim suit.

Since the cut of girls’ swim bottoms is skimpier than boys’, I frequently check to see if I’m all tucked in. On one of those days when I was sporting a teeny bikini, Police Chief Meyers came by to inform me he had received a complaint that I was running around with my balls hanging out. I told him that was absolutely ridiculous.

He was relieved by my firmness. I should have quit while I was ahead, but

being the fun-loving girl that I am, I added, “Maybe one, but not two!”

Sure, one might have slipped out unbeknown to me. But common sense will tell you it’s impossible for both to hang out of the same side; and for one to hang out of one side, and the other, out of the other side, especially when it’s a snug bottom. Give a girl a break!

the great discovery

But on that day as the schoolboys approached with deliberation, I was sure their 20/20 vision would spy my privates.

They came so close to me – on that huge field – that the three of them practically tripped over me. I was dying a thousand deaths. Actually they passed me in silence. Maybe I was all wrong.

Fat chance!! A few yards beyond me they burst out laughing. One of them observed, “See, I told you, she has balls!”

a complete turn-around

The short, unexpected visit by Jesus changed everything for me. It brought about a turn-around to total happiness from total despair. In one solitary declarative sentence, He told me the best news I could ever hope to hear: I was trapped in nothing but the love of God!

Of course Jesus knew all along what trap galled me most. So, He added: “Eliot, if you want to be a woman, go ahead, be my guest – have a ball! I’ll even help you to become one!”

Suddenly, it was as if all those lousy traps had fellen off me and were lying harmlessly at my feet. I’m sure you can imagine my relief! Immediately I saw I had a choice to make: what kind of a woman would I like to be.

A 70 year-old counterpart of Eliot – one likely having deepening wrinkles, increasing maladies, and more or less marking time until death? No way! I had just shed those traps and I wasn’t about to fall into them again.

like filling in a blank check signed by Jesus

It was like Jesus had handed me a blank check with only His signature on it. I could fill in whatever amount I wanted to! I quickly wrote: “Sexy, gorgeous, and 25.” I didn’t mean: 25 until I turned 26 – but 25 forever!

What would you write in for an amount if Jesus dropped by one day and handed you a check – with only His name on it? Well, the fact of the matter is: He’s right beside you this very minute – holding a check for you in His outstretched hand!

I launched my career as one happy gal. My happiness was hard to miss.

Ellie’s poem – “TRAPPED IN THE LOVE OF GOD”

”

“

The poem on the following page (25) was composed by me on July 17, 2003. It commemorates the unexpected visit of Jesus which turned my life around. The truth contained in it will turn everyone’s life around eventually.

Simply read it. Don’t strain your brain over it. You’ve caught the truth already – whether you know it or not!

TRAPPED IN THE LOVE OF GOD

By Ellie (July 17, 2003)

One day an awful thought came to me:

I was caught in a trap with no hope of getting free –

nothin’ lay ahead but a lousy destiny.

Then the Lord showed up – gently took me by the hand:

“Come with me,” He said, “to a better land.”

“I can’t! Don’t you see I’m in a trap?” I cried.

“That’s simply not true, my child,” He replied:

“I’ve opened every trap except one – all traps are gone except one!”

With that He walked on with me in tow;

I tagged along for I was free to go.

“Lord, I’m still a little scared:

You said one trap remains.

Will that one trap bring future pains?”

“Don’t worry,” He said, “it’s the trap of my love:

It only brings gains.

You’re trapped, trapped, trapped –

trapped in my love –

trapped in the love of God above!”

Hear that, my friends?

We’re trapped in the love of God –

trapped in the love of God – trapped in the love of God!

We’re free from all traps except the trap of His love –

the trap of His perfect love!

No better place to be than in the trap of His love –

the trap of His perfect love!

Don’t waste another moment sittin’ in the gloom!

Lift up your voice and sing a happy tune:

“I’m trapped, trapped, trapped –

trapped in nothin’ but the love of God –

trapped, trapped, trapped -

trapped in nothin’ but the love of God.”

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(July 17, 2003)

more than an entertainer

There are those who see me as a spreader of joy more than an entertainer. I do too. It gives me a good feeling to be one of those rather than a spreader of misery as I formerly was.

I owe it all to the fact that when Jesus dropped in on me that day, He carried a contagion that I caught: truth. That truth began to free me from my ignorance – just like He taught it would – when He said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

a bit carried away!

Admittedly though, in my newfound happiness and joie de vivre, I got carried away. I thought I’d be spending this New Year’s Eve 2006 with the Iraqis in Baghdad – celebrating with them the end of the war and their reception of a gigantic love gift from the people of America – to help them rebuild what we destroyed.

the count-down to the launch

I started my career as America’s new leader with great enthusiasm and great plans. P’Town was my launching pad from which I would soar into success. There was a count-down: when it reached zero, I pushed the launch-button, but nothing happened!

Apparently! But things are not always as they appear. In effect, my mission to Iraq was launched, even though you could have fooled me. I can’t get away from it. I don’t want to. I won’t! It’s too precious!

My mission obviously is bogged down. Luckily, my common sense sees this. I realize that a revised plan must be made – a plan that will call for patience as well as enthusiasm.

the easy way vs. the hard way

The administration seems bent on working to make its Iraqi policy work. Americans seem increasingly bent on working to get that policy changed. Neither the hard work of the administration nor of the people seems to be bearing fruit.

When you look at a fruit tree, does it ever appear to be working hard? Isn’t it strange that we have the tendency to opt for a hard way, when there’s an easy way – if we will only open our eyes and see it!

the hard way: not before 2008 !

If Mr. Bush should relent in the face of mounting bi-partisan pressure as well as world opinion, how many more lives will be lost before our troops are pulled out? Even his staunchest critics seem resigned to the fact that the closing stage of the war will hardly begin tomorrow. Most see 2008 as the earliest we can begin to withdraw our forces.

the mounting death toll

Each day that passes, scores more die. Death at any time is awful – but having people killed when the end is in sight is particularly awful. We Americans think it’s terrible when just one of our soldiers is killed. Do we think it’s not terrible to the Iraqis when scores of them are killed daily?

the stupidity of war

How ignorant we all are when we do not grieve over the deaths of those on both sides! In our stupidity we don’t realize we’re all family!

It was stupid of Northerners and Southerners to kill each other in our Civil War. It’s stupid of the Kurds, Shiites, and Sunnis to be killing each other. It’s stupid for Palestinians and Jews to be killing each other. It’s stupid for Americans and insurgents to be killing each other. It’s stupid not to put an end to the slaughter today – if not sooner!

impossible to end the war now?

“Oh, that’s impossible!” most everyone will whine. What, impossible not to be stupid? What a sad admission that is! What a needless admission! We desperately need to hear the truth: “We are trapped in nothing – except the love of God!”

the last breaths of America

Not only are people dying daily, America as a nation is breathing its last breaths – but even the ones reputed to be the smartest of us don’t see this. Can’t we see in history examples of leaders who led nations and entire empires into oblivion by sticking to their guns, when it was quite obvious, even to the untrained eye, their demises were immanent? Did not Nero fiddle while Rome burned? I don’t think it was a requiem he was playing!

What about Hitler? The time came when it was obvious to most of his

generals that continuing to fight on – and particularly claiming the tide had turned and victory was a sure thing for the Germans – was just plain loco?

my open letter to the people of Iraq

Late this past September I wrote an open letter to the people of Iraq which the PROVINCETOWN BANNER printed as a “political announcement. “It cost me $336. I doubt if anyone in Iraq saw that edition.

my personal letter to the Prime Minister of Iraq

I sent a personal letter to the Prime Minister of Iraq, Nouri al-Maliki, addressed simply “Baghdad, Iraq.” Why not? I get mail sent to “Ellie, Provincetown, Mass.” I haven’t gotten a reply.

my phone call to Al Jazeera

I talked by phone to someone at the headquarters of Al Jazeera in Qatar hoping to get their help in carrying this story to the people of Iraq and to the entire region. I asked for, and was given their email address with a contact person. I sent them a message but did not hear back from them.

a visa obtained

I spent a large sum of money at the post office applying for my visa – to be handled on a rush basis so I’d have it in time for my trip to Baghdad. I got that, but I don’t think I’ll be using it this year-end. Despite my best intentions, nothing apparently has come from all this. Again: “apparently.”

more personal problems instead

Meanwhile, death, which I detest, was dogging me. My familiar green van died. I bought a used car and it died. It’s being resurrected, I hope. A loaner car provided me died, and I hope it too is being brought back to life. As I write this, I’m essentially without wheels – and have been that way for all intents and purposes since November 16th.

My body seemed to be dying again. It took months for me to start feeling better after I injured my back in March and foolishly aggravated the injury in May. But around mid-September, when I was getting excited about going to Iraq, my pains returned. It seemed like I was back to square #1.

not another red cent of income tax

Such a pity, in light of the fact that Ellie had come up with a very simple and easy solution that needed to be implemented right away, or so it seemed: get the American people to refuse to pay another red cent of income tax! That’d quickly persuade Washington to call home the troops! The American people would buy that suggestion – if only they could get to hear it.

Having been successful in achieving my big impossible dream (i.e. transforming myself into Ellie) I figured this was simply one more “impossible dream” I could realize.

the wrong approach to realizing dreams

One thing about dreams though: they’re realized in a bunch of different ways. As each dream is different, so is the way of its accomplishment. Not only that, but often the way seems to be absolutely ridiculous – more than the dream itself!

The problem Ellie faced was getting the message of not paying taxes out to the entire nation. So Ellie put on her thinking cap. That was her first mistake!

ways revealed – not thought up

Not that thinking is wrong. Not that she was empty-headed with no brains with which to think! It’s simply that thinking up ways to accomplish dreams is not how ways are discovered!

Ways are revealed, not thought up! Ways are revealed in a flash! Thinking up ways is hard work, usually takes time, and doesn’t work! If anything, thinking causes a postponement of the dream!

Ellie should have realized this, since she herself was the result, not of Eliot’s thinking, but of his accepting revelations that were given to him. Revelations always seem to come out of thin air. They also come when least expected – when one is engrossed in some totally different matter.

Ellie’s futile thought-process

Here Ellie was – a girl with a plan. She thought, “How do I get this plan out?” Also: “How do I get that vast multitudes to see that I’m not just a

(July 17, 2003)